I want to spend more time intentionally on what brings me joy. I’m not feeling very spontaneous these days. Frankly, I am tired and weary. My brain is distracted, and I lack the energy I need to be a better parent, spouse, daughter, sister, friend, and artist.
Life takes enormous patience. Life brings unexpected interruptions (happy surprises and bouts of sadness). Why is there a nagging feeling that makes me feel so behind… What am I trying to catch up on? I wish I knew who said: “ We have to let go in order to be; We have to stop forcing ourselves.” Time is elusive whether you’re aware of it or not — so let’s choose ways to grow wiser, kinder, and more content.
Naturally, I am trying to concentrate on the things I can achieve here and now. But I find my thoughts scattered. Maybe it’s because my sweet peeps are developing their own lives. The “MOM” role changes from being their earth to being the moon in their lives, present but at a distance. Some days we illuminate the darkness, other days we are just a sliver of presence. We want their universe to grow and expand; maybe with this new stage of my own life I long for my own universe to keep expanding.
Last night was a warm, autumn evening with a pitch-black background scattered with stars. There’s a romance, a sense of magic, a vastness in looking at the stars. Perhaps I’ve been traveling the world with stardust in my eyes. Perhaps it is unrealistic to be perpetually optimistic. But isn’t comforting to look at these bright, twinkling stars? Have I forgotten how sweet and innocent it is to “Wish Upon a Star”?
Stars are glowing balls of energy, technically nuclear fusion. As spiritual beings, we too are like stars. We shine brightest when we have a little hope, luck, and harmony in our lives. Yet the energy that fills us from within is usually because of the love we give away. Loving others makes us more creative, effective, and inspirational. Perhaps this is a stage of transformation. A stage that might allow some time to spark or reignite interests and desires.
I am reminding myself that we are celestial beings, we are beautifully made, incredible, wondrous, and awe-inspiring. All of us are called to be like stars, a light that guides the way to new beginnings.
My intuition and my soul rhythms feel like they are in a distant universe, far far away. What are the emotional, physical, and spiritual tools I need to feed my heart and soul? I often fall in love with life when the sun, our solar system's biggest star shines brightly. I think I need a walk along the coast, time on the water, my feet on a mountain path, and a little more time under the stars. I’ll try to be more intentional about rest and renewal and having a little FUN!! I hope you will carve out time to do this too! Peace. JJH
“Maybe that’s what life is…
a wink of the eye and winking stars.“
– Jack Kerouac